The question here is simple: why do the guys in the shop keep reaching for Monster? So we lined up 12 flavors from the race shop fridge and put them through a straight taste test. Gale rates each one on his own 1-to-10 scale after checking aroma and flavor, with Irish Blend coming out on top. Original and Pipeline Punch score strong too. It’s a plain-spoken run through the flavors the shop actually drinks most, with Gale figuring out whether the hype is about taste, the kick, or both.
Gale Banks opens with a lighthearted experiment rather than a product teardown. Watching the race-shop crew regularly drink Monster Energy, he decides to find out what the appeal is by sampling the flavors most commonly stocked in the shop refrigerator. His plan is simple: unbox each can, taste it, cleanse his palate between samples, and score each drink on a 1-to-10 scale, with 10 as the highest rating. To add some drama, the crew also hooks him up to an EKG while he works through the lineup.
Before tasting anything, Gale gives a brief history of the brand. Monster Energy began with Hansen's Natural, a Southern California beverage company located near Banks Power that had been making fruit drinks since 1935. In 2002, the company introduced Monster, and according to Gale, sales grew from the millions into the billions. By 2012, the company had renamed itself Monster Beverage. He notes that Monster currently offers 34 flavors, although he is only testing 12 of them here because these are the varieties the race-shop staff drinks most often.
As he opens the cans, Gale comments on the packaging and presentation as much as the drinks themselves. He starts with the original flavor, recognizable by its green claw logo, which he clearly enjoys. Other cans strike him as more ominous, especially those with darker graphics and skeletal imagery. When he reaches Monster Energy Zero Ultra, he remarks that the can itself looks cold and clean compared with some of the others.
He also reads through part of the ingredient list, which includes carbonated water, sucrose, glucose, citric acid, natural flavors, taurine, sodium citrate, Panax ginseng root extract, caffeine, sorbic acid, benzoic acid, sodium chloride, sucralose, riboflavin, maltodextrin, and cyanocobalamin. Rather than analyzing the chemistry in detail, he jokes that the label reads like "word soup," emphasizing how dense and technical the ingredient list sounds when spoken aloud.
The tasting begins with the original green Monster. Gale approaches it almost like a formal sensory test, checking the aroma first and even sniffing coffee between samples to reset his sense of smell. He jokes about the drink's character and composition, then notes that after swallowing it he immediately feels a bit of a rush. On his personal scale, the original earns a strong 9, making it one of the top performers of the session.
He then moves to Lo-Carb, which he describes as having a distinctly different nose and a more toned-down profile. Even though his commentary stays humorous and exaggerated, the takeaway is that it is less compelling to him than the original. He scores Lo-Carb a 6, placing it in the lower-middle of the group.
Another early sample is Moca Loca, which he treats as a dessert-like flavor. He compares the experience to an ice-cream-shop variety lineup and suggests it is sweet and approachable enough that almost anyone would recognize the appeal. He gives Moca Loca an 8.
Swiss Chocolate leaves a strong impression immediately. Gale reacts to it as a heavy, unmistakably chocolate-forward drink, and his response suggests that the flavor is intense rather than subtle. Even so, he likes it and gives Swiss Chocolate an 8.
Khaos, labeled by Gale as a citrus-oriented juice, also lands well. He describes it as flavorful and direct, with the expectation that whatever stimulant effect it has will arrive after the taste. Its flavor earns an 8.
Pipeline Punch performs especially well. Gale riffs on the name, joking about whether it refers to land access or surfing, but once he tastes it he identifies a pineapple-like note and responds very positively. He calls it particularly good and awards Pipeline Punch a 9, tying it with the original as one of the highest-rated drinks in the test.
Irish Blend turns out to be Gale's favorite of the entire lineup. He jokes that it smells like a potato, but the humor gives way to a clearly favorable reaction once he tastes it. He scores Irish Blend a perfect 10. He later explains that the result may not be entirely objective because his own name, Gale, has Gaelic roots and he considers himself somewhat biased by a bit of Irish heritage.
By contrast, Assault does not fare nearly as well. Gale struggles to place the aroma and reaches for a dark wartime comparison, making it clear that the smell is not appealing to him. He is not a fan of the flavor either and gives Assault a 4, one of the lowest scores in the session.
Dragon Tea Green Tea comes across as comparatively mild and less intimidating than some of the more aggressive energy-drink flavors. Gale jokes about ethanol and even tells a story about wartime "torpedo juice," but the practical conclusion is that this tea-based variant feels more neutral and easier to drink. He gives Dragon Tea Green Tea a 7.
Mango Loco receives a more mixed but still favorable response. Gale reaches for another exaggerated chemical comparison while trying to describe it, but the final score shows that he still likes it. Mango Loco earns an 8.
Zero Ultra, the sugar-free option, gets a cooler reception. Gale jokes about its pale appearance and compares it to ammonia, while acknowledging that this is the sugar-free entry in the group. Despite the teasing, he does not reject it outright; he simply finds it less appealing than the top flavors. Zero Ultra receives a 6.
As the tasting progresses, Gale repeatedly notes that he is swallowing every sample rather than just sipping and discarding them, and he becomes increasingly aware that the cumulative stimulant load may catch up with him. The EKG setup adds to the joke, and at one point he briefly worries aloud that he might be in trouble before continuing. His palate-cleansing routine with coffee remains part of the process throughout, reinforcing that he is trying, in his own way, to give each flavor a fair comparison.
The running commentary mixes sensory impressions with racing-shop humor. He notices improvised details in the set, such as a flowerpot with its drain hole taped over using duct tape, which he calls "200 miles an hour tape." That kind of aside does not change the rankings, but it frames the whole exercise in the familiar Banks shop environment rather than as a formal beverage review.
By the end of the test, Gale's top-rated flavors are Irish Blend at 10, followed by the original Monster and Pipeline Punch at 9. Several drinks cluster just below that, including Moca Loca, Swiss Chocolate, Khaos, and Mango Loco at 8, while Dragon Tea Green Tea lands at 7. Lo-Carb and Zero Ultra each receive 6, and Assault finishes near the bottom at 4.
Gale closes by acknowledging that his preference for Irish Blend is probably influenced by personal bias tied to his Gaelic name and Irish ancestry. Even so, his broader conclusion is that any of these drinks would likely provide enough stimulation to "kick a rod out," a mechanic's way of saying they deliver a serious jolt. After finishing the lineup on top of an already large coffee, he ends the segment feeling visibly over-caffeinated, comparing himself to Krusty the Klown after a show.